Sunday, October 21, 2012

Past 24 hours

Something happened 24 hours ago and I just mentally checked out of my life.  It wasn't one particular event actually.  I have a lot of stress in my life and I guess things tipped over that ever-so-delicate line of balance.  I went on a massive eating binge and I am so ashamed.  I ate cookies, pancakes, waffles, chocolate, peanut butter, noodles.. (notice the carbohydrate theme?) I watched movies and tv-shows and just ignored the entire rest of the world.  Of course, I felt so gross as I was trying to go to sleep.  I felt gross when I woke up.  My belly felt like an alien limb, heavy as a watermelon, impeding my breathing and making me so uncomfortable.  This morning I asked myself why I do these things? I'm trying to lose weight, not gain it. I'm trying to get things done efficiently, not the opposite.  Why do I get in my own way?

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