Today I'll be sharing something personal with you. A little over a year ago, I broke up with a guy with whom I'd been sharing my life for over two years. We had been having issues for some time, so maybe it shouldn't have lasted so long, but nonetheless, we had some very good times and went through a lot together. During the span of our relationship, my mother got sick twice with tumors, my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease and forgot who I am, a close family friend and both my maternal grandparents passed away. Yea, a lot. Considering how much we had gone through, I knew he and I weren't right for one another. Not only was there a glaring, 10-year age difference, cultural divide, but most importantly, we came to realize we had divisively contrasting opinions on key life views/issues such as the role of family (parents and siblings), career ambitions, work ethic and optimism/pessimism. We never betrayed one another but knew that if we kept trying to make the relationship work, we would betray ourselves. The break up was made even more painful when a side of him I had never seen or known surfaced. He began stalking me, and dragging out the break up. Initially I pleaded him to stop his behavior, but eventually I had to put my foot down and be much more stern. During this time, I lost a lot of trust in my own 'people-skills'; I couldn't believe how wrong I had been about him, and that this side of him had ever been there. It goes without saying, I wasn't in any position to date anyone for a while. Any date I was asked out on, I turned down. I said was very busy with work, but that wasn't the real reason why I couldn't and wouldn't.
Now, over a year later, an old acquaintance has asked me out and I realize, I am no longer immediately repulsed by the prospect of getting back out there. A year can seem like a long time but guess what, that's what it took. I'm not sure if I'm going to take him up on his offer but I'm certainly considering it. So guys and girls, give yourself time. Not only is there no quick fix but also the grief from the failed relationship doesn't just stop when you find someone new. It takes time to let the wound heal, to come to appreciate the scar and then be able to face a whole new world of opportunities.